Aren’t you tired of people telling you to DECIDE – just DECIDE to change, they say. Make a decision and move forward. But, the truth is, it isn’t always that easy. Personally, I feel like I have decided to change my life a million times over.
  • Starting Monday, I am going to wake up early and meditate.
  • From now on, I am going to exercise 4 x a week.
  • I am going to start practising my affirmations daily.
  • From this point forward, I am cutting out sugar.
These are examples of my list of decisions… decisions that I seem to sway between and decisions that never really stick. It’s frustrating. Why don’t I have the will power, I ask myself? Why can’t I follow through? I really want to make these changes, but I find myself going around in circles. And yet, there IS so much POWER in making a decision. As I write this, I think of my mom, who struggled with alcohol for many years. She tried countless times to stop. I need more than one hand to count the number of rehab centres she went to over the years. The last time she went to rehab, she was 72 years old. But, she was never able to overcome her addiction. Just after her last rehab stint, I had a session with Emma Raysman from Happy Light (www.happylight.co.za) who does energy healing and helps you connect with your higher self. I asked if my mom would ever stop drinking. And the answer was clear and simple. No. She had DECIDED on a soul level NOT to stop many years ago. It hit me like a ton of bricks. She had DECIDED NOT TO STOP drinking? What? It made no sense. I had seen her decide over and over and over again to stop drinking. I had seen her go in and out of rehab year on year. I had been with her during her many detoxes. I was with her every time she tried to overcome this addiction. And she really tried. So, how is it possible that she chose not to stop drinking? After much contemplation, I realized that this decision was made on a very deep soul level. I also came to the awareness that deep down she believed (and she desperately hoped) she could one day drink socially and control her drinking. Perhaps, subconsciously, completely stopping was not in alignment with her deep belief, with her deepest desire, with her soul journey. I can’t say for sure because this was my mom’s journey. But the more I sat with it, the more it felt right. Faced with the understanding that she would never stop was shocking but more than that, it was freeing. I stopped trying to make her stop. I stopped being angry. I stopped placing unrealistic expectations on her. I stopped pushing and simply enjoyed the time I had with her.  
My mom and I, Christmas Day, 2014.
At around the same time, with the new knowledge of this soul based decision; I watched an episode of Oprah interviewing Robert Downey Jnr. He spoke about his addictions and how many times he had been to rehab, and how all the rehabilitation programs had made no difference to his sobriety. He said that they had had no impact on him and that when he left these centers, he continued to abuse substances regardless. But, he was sober now, Oprah asked? Yes, but for one reason only, he said. He had finally made a DECISION to stop and in that moment, he reached out for help.
Robert: It’s really not that difficult to overcome these seemingly ghastly problems.
Oprah: You are saying that it’s not that difficult? Robert: No. What’s hard is to decide. Oprah: That’s big. That’s really big. So, how do we finally choose to DECIDE to change our lives for the better? How do we know when we are truly making a life-changing decision that will stick versus a decision that doesn’t seem to last? I’ve thought about this long and hard, and my belief is that so many of us make decisions without connecting with our higher self, with our souls, with who we truly are, without connecting with our passions and true desires. In other words, if we are really honest, we aren’t making soul-aligned decisions. Can you imagine how much more powerful a decision is when it’s made from deep within, when you are aligned and connected to YOU, to your passions, to your values and to what you were put on this earth to do? But, for many, this doesn’t happen. Our decisions are fleeting and made in moments of desperation and/or business. We are moving through life in default mode, reacting to life as opposed to taking control and directing our lives. It’s fast and in a blink of an eye, a day, a month and a year have gone by, along with countless decisions we didn’t follow through on. So, what do we do? We slow down. We connect with our true selves. We uncover what it is we truly desire. And then … We make decisions. If this feels overwhelming, here is a practical step by step way to do this:
  1. Find a quiet place – even if it’s while you are in the shower – and let the decision wash over you. Imagine that you are breathing this decision into your whole body. And let it sit there.Now, how do you feel? Notice any emotions that might arise. Just be with these emotions and let them flow through you.
  2. Now, journal about this decision. Without censoring – just let your stream of consciousness flow onto the page. Take pen to paper and just write down your thoughts, feelings and emotions.
  3. With pen in hand, answer these questions:
  • Why am I making this decision?
  • How will this decision benefit me?
  • How will I feel once the decision is made?
  • Do I really and truly want to make this decision?
  • Why?
  • Am I making this decision for the benefit of myself or for others?
  • Is this the right time for me to make these changes?
  1. Coming out of this process, you will either feel determined to move forward, or your gut and intuition might be telling you that this is not right for you. Try and listen to how you feel and trust your own inner guidance. When you have well and truly decided, you will know.Recently, I decided to make healthier decisions in relation to food and exercise. A decision I have made countless times before.But, this time, I felt the energy of my decision. I knew deep down, that this time would be different. I instinctively knew that this decision was different from all the ones before. It was made from a place of deep connection with myself. I was ready. If you feel ready, then move on to the next steps:
  2. Make a commitment to yourself. You may choose to write it down or you may choose to say the words to yourself quietly. You may choose to pray about it. Whatever feels right for you. The important thing is that you consciously commit and vow to follow through on your decision.
  3. Once you have made the commitment to yourself, it’s important to make a public declaration by telling people. Donna McCallum (aka The Fairy Godmother) taught me this. Making a declaration solidifies your decision and makes it even more concrete. Not only does this create a sense of accountability, but it’s another way of really committing to your decision. You can do this by sending an email to your friends, posting it on Facebook or phoning people up. Your choice.
  4. Lastly, TAKE ACTION towards your decision as soon as possible. Get the momentum of the decision moving forward, and then enjoy the ride.
I trust that this process will help you make soul-aligned and life-changing decisions that stick. If you have any questions, feel free to email me back. Wishing you heaps of abundance, now and always Big love Nicky P.S. The soulful Nadine Ceronio and I are facilitating a soul-mapping retreat in September. It’s going to be a beautiful combination of dream-mapping and astrological-mapping, giving you the space to step back into your destiny. Gentle. Relaxing. Rejuvenating. Powerful. Find the details here: http://thesupportroom.co.za/soul-mapping-retreat P.P.S. If you would like to explore the option of being coached by me personally, book a discovery call here: calendly.com/nickyhartel/discovery-call P.P.P.S. It’s tough going it alone – that’s why I started The Abundance Circle, a free FB group for creative and passionate entrepreneurs wanting to experience true abundance, with the support of others. Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theabundancecircle

GET CLEAR ON YOUR BRAND
& COMMIT TO YOUR BIG VISION

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